I dont know what to think anymore

I still do love her a bit, and it pains me to hear all this from her. she was so special to me, but i wasnt to her. i feel like a victim of a hit and run cos shes just going back to old flames she never let burn out. did she really lie to me about the commitment crap? now when i need someone to talk to about this, there isnt one cos we kept it a secret. so what now? do i still have to keep it a secret? i really just want to get my thoughts out there now