What to feel or believe anymore?

I dont know what to feel or think anymore. why didnt she just talk to me when she could? why didnt she just say the fucking things. then shit wouldnt have turned out this way. what am i suppose to feel now? FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT COMMITMENT. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER JUST WANTED TO YELL "FUCK YOU" TO A GIRL SO BADLY. fucking hell. someone help me. if she does read this, i said goodbye for a reason. but its not like she cares. i dont think she will even remember by now. but goodbye, you should already know why