I hate myself so much

every time there is a problem, I always am the one who causes it with her. I hate myself for doing that. I dont mean to do it but sometimes its just hard for me cause i always over think and end up hurting the people around me and especially her. i really hate myself. sometimes i just think that its better for me just to be by myself forever and never talk to anyone so that i wont hurt anyone. but thats obviously not possible. Sometimes i just wish i wasnt alive or i wished i didnt have a brain so that i wouldnt be able to over think. Maybe i should just packup my things and move to a place where no one could find me and i would just live alone and die alone cos then i wouldnt be able to hurt anyone. Fuck my life.