A look back

Just last night i was going through some of the things i had collected that had meaning to me. it's quite interesting to see some of the items and letters or random pieces of paper that i had collected. there was  this one item that really caught my eye. it was this big piece of paper which had writing on it. it was from an activity that my secondary school teacher had made the class do. basically, everybody would write something on that paper that they wanted to say to you. and reading some of the things back had put a smile on my face, but had also boggled my mind. take for example, there were hearts written by girls on the paper. one of the sentences, at the end of it, wrote "<3 you." but sadly there wasn't a name attached to it. it did put a smile on my face. and some of the girls really said some sweet things. but one thing that did boggle my mind was what those backstabbing girls wrote. they all wrote something along the lines of " thanks for being there when i needed help. but i can't tell you what you did to piss us off so dont be angry". but eventually when i did find out what they had thought i had done, i actually didn't do. i will never trust them ever again. but one common thing i have noticed that people have constantly told me throughout the years was " hey cheer up". i guess it doesn't matter where i go or who I'm with. i will eventually be sad. i mean there have been some really great moments, but when they end, they always end badly. i was also reading through the letter she had written me. As i read them, a small tear rolled down the side of my cheek. she will never understand how much she meant to me and how much i put on the line for her. well, i guess its all just water under the bridge now. and i have to move on. I hope its a full moon tonight. Staring up into the night sky at the moon, somehow just puts me at ease. And i hope she talks to me soon. i miss her a lot but she seems to just keep distancing herself from me. i'm better, and i got better for her. all i want is just the company. I just have to say, no one is perfect. and i wish she understood.