My dreams and wishes

I know this may seem lame, but one wish that I have had for a long time was just to be able to hang out with the girl i love on my birthday and no one else. i thought my dream could have been fulfilled this year. I had finally found the perfect person and i thought that she would do it. but i guess not. i dont blame her, she has other commitments too. its just getting rejected is just harsh and painful. i dont blame her at all, but i just hope that maybe this year would have been a good one thanks to her. maybe her and i could do it sometime close to my Birthday. it would really make my year. I know this may seem like a foolish dream to have, but when you have trust issues thanks to your past, you learn to not expect much from anyone and that you just wanna find that special someone that you know you can trust and know that she will make you happy. I just hope that maybe something good will come on this birthday. i've had too many horrible ones before, and this is all i ask for. its not that difficult to fulfill. all i want is a date with her on my birthday or at least sometime close to my birthday. i already had it all planned out before i asked. and i guess that plan will just have to wait. we would have gone shopping, then ice skating. After that, some ice cream and a movie. after the movie, we would have dinner at a nice place and i would accompany her home after all thats done. maybe, she will be able to go, then i wouldn't feel this shitty about myself because getting rejected to go out on a date on your own birthday, isn't exactly the best feeling in the world. you just don't know how sad i was when she said no.... but i can't do much about it. all i can do right now is to continue to dream of it and wish it comes true.  Even though it would be on my birthday, i would still try to make her as happy as possible even though it is my special day. thats how much i wanted it. but i guess it was too good to become a reality. if you think that my dream is stupid, all i have to say is that guys have feelings too, and as much as we dont want to show it, we all just want to meet that special someone that you know you can do these things. and these things are what really make your life complete. if this does come to fruition, this would be better then any present that I could ever receive.