Depression

This was the most depressed i have ever been on my birthday. there were just absolutely no good thoughts in my head the whole day. i stayed up till midnight and immediately when it passed midnight, my heart just sank even more and just broke into a thousand pieces. why do i even keep my hopes up? every time i hope she does something, she never does. not even a message to wish me happy birthday and she forgot what i had asked her to do with me. 17/08/12 was the worst day of my life. Period. i have never felt any worst feeling ever. the person that i felt i could trust so much and that i loved, i discovered i lost on that day. I guess i just shouldnt bother her anymore. i think i'm just not gonna try to message her, as much as i miss her and want to talk, unless she messages first, which wont happen anymore. screw my life. if even the person that i trusted so much has just left, how the hell can people expect me to still be happy? i just dont understand. You will always receive identical results to identical situations. and with my situation, the only result would be for me to feel depressed. and thats exactly how i feel right now. i just hate the way it turned out and i just hate myself. i dont expect my dream to come true this year, and that thought isnt helping with my mood one bit