Today is 17th of August

Today is the 17th of August 2012. today was the day i had planed to go on a date with a girl i loved, but got rejected by her. today is the day that my mum made me cry when i was 5 years old. today is the day that i have one of my most crucial exams. today is the day, when it comes around every year, i feel the most alone in this world. today is the day i have to put on a fake smile the most. today is the day that i dream that i will eventually get to spend it with my significant other. to go to the movies, ice skate, shopping and a romantic dinner and to lie under the stars on the beach with her next to me. today is my birthday. dont get me wrong, i used to love my birthday, but ever since that incident when my mum made me cry on my birthday, i just started to hate it. i mean, if something traumatizing happens on your special day when you are very young, feelings just get attached to the day. well, thanks to my mum, i have always hated my birthday. even until my now. i mean, what is there to actually look forward to? this year, when my parents asked where i wanted to go for my birthday dinner, i got scolded and was told to move out. i really dont mind just celebrating my birthday by myself. this is one of the main reasons why i want a close girl friend or a significant other, cos they replace the care that was suppose to come from my parents, and i know she wont hurt me. i may be a guy, but guys have feelings too and all i want is just to be loved. call me whatever u want to, but if u had to go through what i have, i'm sure you'd want the exact same thing as me. if only she would understand. but i dont think she gives a flying fuck anymore cos it was obvious she forgot. Never mind. I guess I have one more thing to add on to this fucking horrible day