Still caught up

I still love her. i just can't tell her. its difficult to move on. its like losing someone you love a lot because they died. i miss her a lot. more then i can ever describe. i want to talk to her, yet i dont want to waste her time. things used to be so different. " it takes two hands to clap". something she recently told me, but for the longest time, i have always been making the effort. but now she doesnt even bother anymore. why did it have to turn out this way?! fuck my life. the first time i ever find someone i love that loved me back and she doesnt even wanna talk anymore. thats just sad, and thats just something i have to deal with on a daily basis. things would have been different if i had tried earlier, but i didnt want to rush into things, cos i had thought that if i did get into a relationship with her, it would have been very serious for me. and if she was mine, i wouldnt have gotten jealous half the times that i did. maybe things were just meant to play out like this.